5 Unforgivable Tattoo Sins

If this tattoo had color, it would have it all.

1. Design Dysfunction.

   This ex-stripper turned tattoo artist had a knack for bad tattoo designs. She attempted to draw a Sailor Jerry Anchor, but it didn't come out right, which is pretty difficult with sailor flash because it's so simple. Somehow she manged to screw-up the drawing. Thinking herself the artist, she insisted that the design remain unchanged. The guy who tattooed didn't do a great job of executing the tattoo, but that wasn't the REAL problem. The crap design was the problem. She went mental when she saw it. Months later she insisted the shop owner to drive to her shop to fix the thing for free. When he refused the drive--not the fix, she bad mouthed him all over town and still to this days speaks ill of him. What can say, she's a crazy bitch.



2. Indecent Implantation

   Poor tattoo execution on a good design can be serious a problem. It's sucks to see good traditional design, such as an anchor, a swallow, or a rose fucked up by bad line-work and crap fills. One guy who stepped into the shop had what I suspect was a nautical star tattooed on his left hand. He was wasted when he tattooed the thing with a homemade tattoo machine. I've never seen anything this bad before. There were three crazy wandering lines for each point of the star. It was like he just couldn't get the points to connect; so he swirled out a new line each time. He never quite succeeded. The fill wasn't any better. The entire tip of one point of the "star" was black. (Nautical stars alternate, black, color, black color, etc.)



3. Color Confusion

   This usually involves putting in the wrong color. I guess the guy above fits into this category too. But I've also seen my share of purple smurfs and putrid portraits. Color can go very wrong in color portraits; so make sure you're artist up to the task. Also pay attention. If you see your artist bust out the red ink for a black and gray tattoo, say something.



4. Lame Lines.

   I hate seeing shaky, timid lines, it just makes me cringe.



5. Misplacement/Misalignment.

   The ex-stripper turned artist mentioned above also had a slightly crooked cross on her lower back. This one might have been a joint effort. She approved of the placement, but the artist should have double checked. A few days later, the ex-stripper's boyfriends told her "the cross ain't right". Guess they had good view of it, if you know what I mean.